Tuesday morning. I should be putting on my uniform at this time and making it perfect so I can pass inspection later during my ROTC class.Instead I am being woken up by doctors checking my vitals and forced to chew up these nasty vitamins every morning. Then we have to sit and wait until our next orders. And if we try to object to any of it, we get sent straight to "C3" which is like a small behavioral adjustment room. I'm not sure what they do to the kids that are put in there, but from what I've herd, its really sucks.
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Last night I was put on boundary rules with some other girl and I don't even know her. And I was never told why until today when I asked again and apparently my doctor decided that it would've been best to put me on a boundary rule with her because she thought that we had "similar problems" She thought that if we were to talk, it would probably cause trouble somehow. It's very stupid logic if you ask me. I've been nothing but good ever since I was forced into this place and I've never even said so much as 'hello' to this girl. But I was still put on this boundary rule which means that I cant be anywhere near this girl, cant interact with her, and I can't go down with everyone else when its time to eat. I have to sit in my room alone and secluded from everyone when it's time to eat. It's just not fair. I didn't do anything, yet I'm being punished.
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I just want to go home. I cant take this place any more. I want to be in my room listening to music and doing whatever I want to do. I want my freedom back. I want my life back. I want my dad to hug me and tell me that I'm safe and be able to believe him. I want to be okay again
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Yup, it's quiet time again and I'm sure that I have humiliated myself so bed today. I had a horrible mental breakdown right before dinner. I was crying my eyes out so bad and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't re-gain control of myself for what felt like forever. I'll be surprised if they don't force me on some type of drugs now. I know that my doctor wants to put me on medicine that she thinks would help my mental stability somehow. I really don't want to go on meds, but I'm starting to think that it might be a good idea.
~AngelCutter
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