Today is Saturday January 19th 2013, also known as my second day in the Hospital. I was actually just thinking to myself earlier, after I woke up from a nap, and I realized that last night was the first time that I've ever spent the whole night in a hospital. Well..no, that's a lie. I've spent a few nights in a hospital back in sixth grade when my mother had to have an emergency heart surgery. But I guess that doesn't really count because I was just in the waiting room with my father then. This time I'm the one in the hospital bed, having doctors doing tests on me, being stuck with needles, and being asked a million questions that get very repetitive and kinda annoying 'cause all the doctors and people act like they cant understand me. How did I get myself into this situation? Good question.
Yesterday was Friday, also the day before a 3-day weekend because of a holiday on Monday and all the schools will be closed. So given that, you can imagine how the majority of people would be a bit stressed form the long week and just wanting to get through the day so they could enjoy the weekend. And I was defiantly one of those people. The morning was slow and I was running a little behind so, as usual, my dad was yelling at me from the moment he woke up. I rushed out the door with coffee in hand and silently cursed at how freezing cold it felt. (I really don't like the cold at all anymore) When my dad dropped me off at school, he actually tried to apologize to me for yelling at me like he did but I just slammed the truck door and walked away trying to make it obvious to him that his apology was not excepted. I went straight to class, didn't really talk to anyone 'cause I wasn't in the best of moods an i knew that my friends would understand when I explained latter. After like the first 5 minutes of class, I just got up and told the teacher that I was leaving to go to the blood drive that was being held in the small gym. I had made an appointment a few weeks earlier in advance. I'm always one of the first people in line to sign up for the blood drives at my school. I love donating blood, it's for a good cause and it gets me out of a few classes just to lay down and rest while listening to music as the blood drains into the bag.
But this time it was a little different. I recently lost 20 pounds the week before the blood drive from basically starving myself. So while I was laying there, I started feeling really dizzy and the room was moving when I wasn't. I told myself that this was just part of the plan and that I wouldn't have to feel anything at all soon enough when I finally died. After I finished giving blood the doctor tried to just put a band-aid on my arm and let me go, but my arm just wouldn't stop bleeding. It took her like 15 minutes at least to get it to slow down enough to bandage it up. Then it took everything I had to walk straight enough so the doctors or anyone wouldn't notice how dizzy I was really feeling. Then later at lunch time I felt really sick and week, I just laid my head down on the table and just wanted to burst into tears. My friends asked me whats wrong but I said that I was okay. Somehow, they convinced me to go to the guidance counselor and I just broke. I explained to the counselor everything that has been happening and how I was just giving up on life. I was crying my eyes out the whole time, but I also was laughing while crying. My emotions were all coming out at once and I was a wreck. Eventually I was able to re-gain somewhat control of myself and go back to class but it still felt like my mind was going way faster than what I could keep up with psychically.
I was so relieved when school was finally over, I walked around the school on the outside sidewalk to get to the transfer bus that takes the transfer students (such as me) to the other school to then get on their normal buses. On the transfer bus, I sat in the very back seat with one of my really close friends and we just sat back there hiding from everyone else, mainly so the bus driver wouldn't see us and we pigged out on half a bag of BBQ potato chips just because we could. When we got to the other school, I quickly shoved the rest of the bag of chips in my backpack so the bus driver wouldn't see and everyone stood up to get off. But one of the assistant principles from the school we were at came up to the bus and the bus driver told everyone to sit down. Then she asked "Is Samantha on the bus?" Someone that sat in front of me on the bus called out "Yeah she's back here" and then the bus driver told everyone to stay seated and for me to get off the bus first. My natural reaction was "Oh shit, I'm probably in trouble." So I just minded and got off the bus thinking that if I minded well, the punishment wouldn't be as bad hopefully. But as soon as I got off the assistant principle lady told me that I wasn't in trouble and to follow her. I was very confused and wanted to stop and question her why she wanted me to follow her before I took a single step. But I didn't feel up to fighting with her 'cause I was still dizzy and light-headed from giving blood so I just minded her and followed her into the school and into her office where she told me to sit down.
She called my school then when she hung up, she told me that my guidance counselor would be there shortly. Then she turned to me and started asking questions and I told her about what happened at school when I broke down and other crap and we just talked for a little until the counselor got there. But it wasn't my counselor that came, it was a different one that I also knew somewhat. The counselor told me what my counselor told her and she had me explain everything to her again about the situation with the guys who want me dead, of me not eating for a week and losing so much weight, how I planned to be dead soon, and my mental break down in school. After that was all explained again and she was finished asking questions, she told me that my guidance counselor had called the CPS (child protective services) lady and she had told them to call 911 and have me sent to the hospital. That's when I started protesting and told them that I was okay and that all I wanted to do was go home but they wouldn't listen. The counselor called the CPS lady again to make sure she still wanted me to go to the hospital, she said yes. So then the counselor called 911, explained the whole situation, gave them the address to the school we were at, then hung up and told me that the ambulance was on the way. Then she asked if I had any weapons on me and I told them that I didn't but they still searched my backpack to make sure.
When the ambulance showed up, there were 2 cop cars that followed them and as soon as I saw one of them, I was like "Oh shit!" because I knew him from a different.... experience. He was the same cop that took my knife away at the sheriffs station a while ago. As soon as he saw me he said "Yeah, I know Samantha." He sat down in a chair across from where I was sitting and questioned me about everything and I explained the situation again. I tried to convince him that I'm okay and that they should just let me go home but had no luck with that. He told me that I would have to go to the hospital and that since I was 17, I had no choice but to go with them. The cops and ambulance people led me outside and I really felt like just dropping my book bag and taking off running but they were basically surrounding me like they were expecting me to run. I really had no chance of getting away, so I did what they told me to do and got into the ambulance. They took me to the ER where they left me for the doctors to deal with and I continually told them to let me just go home but still had no luck with that. The doctors had me strip down into nothing and put on a gown, then I had to talk to another cop for like a half an hour, had to answer a thousand questions to him and the doctors, and hours later they decided to transfer me to a different hospital in Martinsburg and that't where I am now.
~AngelCutter
