Day 16

Monday 2-4-2013

I cant believe how tired I was last night. I was dead asleep within minutes of laying my head down. But yesterday was a good day mostly. All except for the time when I was feeling crappy after I ate stuff. I'm not sure why but I'll go through these phases when I'll eat regular or less then normal and then I'll feel really guilty for eating for a few hours afterwords. But I'm okay now for the most part. I looked into the mirror this morning and thought that my body looked fine just the way it is. Any-who, yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday and they had a small party in the day room and ate chips and drank soda while watching the game. But I was only there for about the last 20 minutes of the part 'cause my dad came to visit me and when you have visitors, you're supposed to stay in your room with them. We talked for about the medicine that I'm taking, how I've been doing with treatments, and if I'm well enough to go back home yet. We also played some card games and he got me some new clothes, chocolate, and a new notebook to write in. The best part is the fact that we didn't fight at all. We usually argue or something but this time we didn't. It was a bit surprising but it was good.

. . . . . .

Today was good for the most part. I've been improving more and people have been noticing it too. My doctor and therapist both said so and so has another staff person. Though, my doctor raised to of my meds. One she raised because she thought I needed it and the other one was raised because I asked her to. I did find out that I'll be leaving this place in one or two days probably. That's what my therapist told me when we talked today. So that made me really happy. Also, my doctor put me on level one and that meant that I could go out to the barn with the others and play games for half an hour after dinner. It was really fun. It was kinda like going back to gym class in elementary school. I was also the one who scored the winning goal for my team. Then later during free time, me and another girl were doing a silly penguin dance just because we could. But once we took our evening meds, we ran out of energy and quickly became really tired from sleeping meds.

~AngelCutter

Day 15

Sunday 2-3-2013

Sorry, but I'm just way to tired to write tonight. This medicine they give me to help with my sleep is really working.

~AngelCutter

Day 14

Saturday 2-2-2013

I've officially been stuck in this place for two whole weeks now and today sucks so much more than yesterday for multiple reasons... I'm still here, my arm has been hurting me like crazy, and I had a nightmare during my afternoon nap. My arm has been killing me all day and I don't even know why. It  has these strange bruises that I really don't remember how I got them, all I know is that they suck. I normally don't get nightmares when I take naps during the day, but today I did. When one of the staff woke me up from the nightmare, I swear I nearly had a heart-attack. Then once he left, I just busted into tears 'cause I was so freaked out.

~AngelCutter

Day 13

Friday 2-1-2013

Today really sucks. It's February now and I'm still stuck in this mental institution. But on the bright side of things, my doctor did say something about how she thinks that I'm improving and that could possibly mean that I'm getting out of here once my medicine is regulated. My therapist and I called my dad yesterday and after arguing with him for about 20 minutes, I was finally able to get him to agree to letting the doctor put me on the other medicine that she wanted to. I'm not 100% sure exactly which med is for what, it's confusing, but at least they are working.

~AngelCutter

The typical day at the hospital:

• Get woken up so they can check your vitals
• Go back to sleep
• Get woken up to take your morning meds/vitamins
• Fight to stay awake
• Make your bed
• Breakfast time
• Go back to your room for a 30 min quiet time
• Go to the Day Room for group
• Read the rules out loud
• Take turns saying who you are and why your here
• Discuss the theme of the day
• Do paperwork
• Snack time
• Goals group
• Group therapy
• Lunch time
• 30 min quiet time
• Group time/more paperwork
• Free time
• Group therapy or hobby skills
• 60 min quiet time
• Go back to Day Room for group again
• Read the rules out loud again
• Goals group again
• Dinner time
• 30 min quiet time
• Shower time
• Free time/visiting time
• High's and Low's group
• Bed time

Day 12

Thursday 1-31-2013

One day goes by, then another day goes by, and another, and another. I've been going through all the treatments, the paperwork, the meds, and the therapy. And yes, this place has helped me a lot so far, but at the same time it is suffocating me.Everyday it's the same damn thing over and over. New patients are always arriving and old ones are always leaving...except for me. Right now it honestly feels like I'm gonna be stuck in here forever. But I know that I wont be. It just feels like it already has been forever 'cause the days drag on so long at this place. I guess that you could even say that I'm feeling a little home-sick for once. I just want to go home and relax a little bit with some coffee and my music. Maybe even talk with my dad a little bit. I will go home one day hopefully soon. They can't keep me here forever...I hope.

~AngelCutter

Day 11

Wednesday 1-30-2013

People here just keep getting crazier and crazier. There was some girl yesterday who climbed up on a sink and broke a light bulb. Then she was walking around with the glass in her pocket. I'm not sure all of what she was planning to do with it but I could tell that some of the staff were on edge 'cause of it. Also, it made me kinda worried too. She seems  like the type of person who would go crazy and start shanking everyone in her path just for the hell of it. But everything should be okay 'cause the staff did a strip search of her and took away all the glass.

. . . . . .

Everyday there's new problems and more meds. My doctor decided that it'd be a good idea to give me another dose of medicine each morning on top of my nightly dose. The morning dose is to make up for what wears off as I sleep basically. When the doctor and I were talking, we both did agree that the meds have helped out a bunch so far. My doctor also wants to put me on another medicine also. But apparently when she called me dad, he didn't agree and I haven't been put on it yet. So now I'm gonna have to talk with him again and convince him to let the doctor do what she thinks is right for me. And yes, I do want to go on that medicine. I want to get better and if it takes 20 different meds for me to get better, then so be it.

~AngelCutter