4-20-2012

I stand there in silence. Emotionless as a statue. Standing in the corner of the room. Numb. Watching everything unfold in front of me. It's a small, regular hospital room with a bunch of machines that have kept you alive for so long. But now they're turned off. The light is dimmed just enough to attempt to create the allusion that you're just sleeping. The nurse stands by the door awkwardly, not knowing what to do. She had just delivered the horrific news. And I despise her. Her and all the others at the hospital. They're to blame for what has happened to you. I bow my head and squeeze my eyes shut as I feel a knot form in my throat. I cant handle hearing my sister and father cry as they stand by your sides, holding both of your cold hands. I put my hands over my ears, trying to block out the world around me. But it's not use. The numbness fades and the pain hits me so hard, it makes me step  back and I fall into a chair behind me. It feels as if someone had just ripped my heart out, threw it on the ground, and started stomping on it. I spent a good hour or so crying my eyes out as the pain of losing you comes at me full force. Then as if I was hit again, the tears suddenly stopped and I was numb again. And I remained numb for months after that. 

RIP mommy 

~AngelCutter